What is gentle parenting? Myths and Facts about gentle parenting

Facts and Myths about gentle parenting
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Parenting

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Introduction

Gentle parenting is one of the current popular topics and discussion among parents in our present generation. We can call parenting with different names – gentle parenting, happy parenting, peaceful parenting, connected parenting, positive parenting, mindful parenting. All these different versions try to convey only one concept that is to have a healthy relationship with our children for their overall growth and brain development.

Parenting and Brain development

We all aware as our brain is the critical organ in our body, and it plays a major role in whatever actions we do in our day-to-day life. The brain starts to develop when the child is in the mother’s womb and grows over the years. Brain development happens for several years, and it takes a good amount of time to have a mature brain. This is one of the biggest reasons for all the different activities which we witness in kids. Gentle/connected parenting helps the child to have a healthy brain development throughout their life

Gentle parenting Myths Vs. Facts

Well!!! We all have one common idea (including myself when I heard about gentle parenting) with gentle parenting: Parents who follow peaceful parenting never get stressed out and their child behaves properly and won’t throw a tantrum at all. It is not true. Gentle parenting is all about the parents trying to calm down themselves and handle the crying child without passing on their emotional breakdown to the child.

This post is mainly for parents,
  • Who wants to start peaceful Parenting but hesitant to do for various reasons. 
  • Who looks at other gentle parents and have so many doubts
  • Who has loads of confusion about the result of peaceful Parenting 
  • Who judge gentle parents by having a different perspective in their mind.
  • And for all parents who love to enjoy the essence of gentle Parenting.

Here it is for you 

Gentle Parenting -1

Doesn't mean

Their child never throws a tantrum or cry and stays calm all the time without having an emotional breakdown. A big No!!!!!

It does mean, 

Whenever the child throws a tantrum, gentle parents try to stay calm without shouting or hurting the child in any way. The parents remain with the child, give them a supportive shoulder to cry and calm down. They acknowledge the child’s feelings without any hassle and help them come out of the situation without hard feelings. So, it is all about the parent who stays calm and handles the situation gently and not about the child. Because crying and showing tantrums are child’s behavior, and every child goes through it. 

Facts and Myths about gentle parenting

Gentle Parenting -2

Doesn't mean

The child listens to their parent’s words and stops doing any unwanted things at the first attempt. 

Does mean

The parent stays calm, goes to the child’s eye level, and covey anything gently until they understand themselves. Children can’t listen and follow our words all the time, and there is no exception for the kids under gentle parents. They, too, can’t hear and react the first time, but the gentle parents try their best to convey it positively and go through the child’s perspective. 

Gentle parenting -3

Doesn’t mean 

The child behaves disciplined in public by understanding the surrounding. Never !!!! Until certain age. 

Does mean

A child is a child irrespective of being under any parenting technique. They behave however they want to as per their brain development and age. It is the parent’s responsibility to handle the child gently and positively. The parent needs to understand the child’s behavior and calm down the child to behave appropriately.

Facts and Myths about gentle parenting

Gentle parenting -4

Doesn’t mean 

The child remembers everything whatever the parents conveyed to them before and follows it all the time. NO!!! No child can remember and follow everything all the time. 

Does mean

Parents need to remind the child gently and positively instead of shouting constantly.

Gentle parenting -5

Doesn’t mean 

The child will be a superhuman who is not going to have any emotional breakdown in their life. 

Does mean, 

Gentle parents try to keep the present life guilt and stress-free. They want to raise an emotionally intelligent person who can handle themselves whenever they need to in the future. But always focus on the current moment to have a connection with the child than the future expectation.

Top 10 perspectives of gentle Parenting

  1. Gentle Parenting is all about disciplining the child in a guided, positive manner than following any punishments or difficult moments. So, there are chances the child can learn things soon (there is no time limit as every child is different) 
  2. Gentle Parenting is all about having a healthy connection with the child to feel safe and secure with the adult.
  3. Gentle Parenting is all about not feeling guilty about ourselves as we refrain from shouting most of the time.
  4. Gentle Parenting is all about understanding and works on our emotions before teaching and changing the child all the time.
  5. Gentle parents can’t’ be so peaceful and calm all the time as they are also humans. They tend to lose their temper, but soon they return to their sense and handle the situation. 
  6. Gentle Parenting is not only for the person who is calm by nature. Anyone can follow peaceful Parenting if they are ready to change themselves. 
  7. Gentle Parenting is not about the child who behaves correctly, is disciplined, never throws tantrums, etc. It is all about the parents who can calm down themselves without reacting suddenly and gently handle the child by understanding their basic physical and emotional needs.
  8. Gentle Parenting is not blaming our elder’s perspective of Parenting. Their lifestyle is entirely different, and they have raised all of us in a great manner. But the world is changing and developing a lot. Our kids need more emotional support to face this world. They need a supportive shoulder whenever they break down, and that is us who can make them feel safe with our parenting method. 
  9. Gentle parenting focus on providing respect to the child’s feelings, emotions, opinion and being empathetic.
  10. Gentle parents relates child’s behavior with their age and brain development. Understand the child from child’s perspective.

 

Facts and Myths about gentle parenting

The most common question which comes to many parents about gentle Parenting is, “So if the child is going to behave as it is (crying, throws tantrums in public, etc.), then what’s the purpose of gentle Parenting. 

Well!!! The best answer is, “Parenting starts within ourselves; if we follow gentle Parenting, we can have blissful and calm moments in our Parenting by avoiding yelling, shouting, screaming all the time. If we avoid shouting, then we can have peaceful moments in our life”. So, gentle Parenting is mainly for parents to have a calm life, and the child can calmly learn everything. 

Summary

Gentle Parenting is lifelong mindful journey. So, if you happen to get down from the journey, take a deep breath and resume it instead of staying back. We are humans, and we may lose our temper for various reasons, and it is ok!!!! But try not to repeat it very often Mindful parenting, gentle parenting , connected parenting call it with any name. If we follow it, our parenting life is going to be a blissful and complete experience.

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