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Having a new sibling is one of the most significant changes in a kid’s life. Until the new baby comes into their life, first kid had ruled every corner of the house, and they have enjoyed our complete attention. After the baby’s arrival, it is prevalent for any kid to feel a little alone and start to be a little possessive about everything they have. And it is very much important to take care of their emotional growth during that time.
First child and emotional growth
We can prepare the child before the baby’s arrival, but the actual scenario may change after the arrival, especially if the firstborn is also at their early age.They go through so many emotional developments during the early stage, and accepting the new baby is one of them. It is ultimately a new phase for parents also, and we tend to lose our patience without our knowledge. But, We as a parent need to be extra cautious in our words and actions to help our child.
We may have to face many instances in our daily routine because of the sibling relationship, as they may fight for anything. It is more important to think and share our words with our first child. No one can love the baby wholeheartedly and unconditionally other than their sibling. At the same time, our first child needs more emotional support, which comes through our words.
Things to avoid saying to the first child
1.You are the big brother/sister, and you are responsible for your sibling.
Asking the child to take the whole responsibility of sharing and caring from day-1 is definitely hard. If we convey any such words as , If anything happens to your little brother/sister, mom/dad is going to be mad at you. Yes, elder one can take care of for their younger sibling, but it is beyond our expectation for them to be responsible for everything the little one does. They themselves are little kids, and it is tough for them to stay with the baby and to take care of them all the time. They may lose their temper if the second one tries to grab the first kid’s items. They are still learning to be responsible, and it may take some time. And this is applicable throughout their life. It is not the role of first child to be more responsible all the time.
2.He is your little brother, and you have to share your toys with him right now
He is your little brother, and you have to share your toys with him right now. It is definitely not a reasonable expectation for any parent because that little kid has entered a new sibling world and first one is still learning the sharing process. Till yesterday, it is their toy, and now a new person is here, and they need time to adapt.
3.Your friends do not have a sibling, but you have one
We need to avoid such conversation as they may convey the same to their friends and damage a beautiful relationship with their friends. Even our kid may bully their friend with this sentence.
4.If you fight with him the next time, I am going to give him away to somebody.
This dialogue may create serious emotional damage inside the child. The child’s non-sharing/fighting behavior doesn’t reflect their love towards their sibling. It is a behavior that changes over time, but the emotional breakdown doesn’t heal at all. They may fight throughout the day, but they can’t let go of their sibling with anyone.
5.Am going to take the baby with me
This is not for us but for our guests. Please never say this statement to the first child. Guests may convey it in a playful and funny note but the emotional damage it creates inside the first child is enormous. If you planned to visit someone’s house or if someone is visiting your place please avoid this routine sentence.
Siblings fight is not the reflection of their affection or love. It is a simple possessiveness and it changes over the period of time. We can very well make the child understand everything more positively than any such challenging and emotional approach. Positive approach helps the child to understand everything clearly. Their love is unconditional towards their sibling it’s just they can’t show it all the time as they are also humans like us. Little humans, more precisely.