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As a parent, we always want to do our best for the kids and expect the child to stand out in the crowd. We want them to understand everything soon, follow good habits all the time, being disciplined both at home and in public places. Well!!! As a parent, I can understand it is a widespread expectation of any parent, but in the process of disciplining and teaching them a good thing, we constantly stay behind them, which in turn irritates the child. Though we do something with good intentions, we need to be a little mindful and take a step back from constantly backing them up. Do you want to know a few unintentional activities of parents which irritates the child? Please go through the post and share your thoughts on the same.
Teaching all the time
As a parent, we want to share as much knowledge with our kids, and we want them to know everything in this world. As a parent, I understand and acknowledge your feeling. But this continuous teaching will be overwhelming for the child. The child will always be curious, and they ask lots of questions. If the question arises, they will be more interested to learn at the same time if it goes overboard, they won’t feel connected with our teaching. Again, I am not saying to stop teaching, instead please be mindful and be within boundaries.
Whenever the child slips from being disciplined, we tend to start explaining how they need to behave, what else to follow, etc. Yes!!! I agree, even I do the same, but please try to stay in limits while doing it. We can talk about consequences and explain discipline to the child but never do it repeatedly. The child starts to feel suffocated by too much explanation. Do it once or twice and stay back. It is hard to make the child understand at the first attempt. It takes lots of patience and consistency throughout. Let’s hold the explanation within some limit and be mindful.
Providing lots of information
Children are always curious and love to ask us many questions. If the child asks questions, be mindful in providing the information and make sure it is age appropriate and that the child can understand the terms we are mentioning. Always provide information based on developmentally appropriate stuff. Too much information irritates the child, and they lose interest in the topic.
Pointing out their mistakes often
It is very typical for any human to make mistakes, especially kids. They make mistakes often, even if we provide the correct path to them. It is Ok!!! To talk about their mistakes but never continue to point them out and tease them very often. Avoid tagging them as bad, lazy, etc. by mentioning their mistakes in conversation. Allow them to learn more from their mistakes instead of feeling shameful for their behavior. If we want our child to change their mistakes, please use positive words to change them and not by pointing the mistakes often.
Not listening to them
Listening is one of the critical positive behaviors of any human being. Everyone wants the other person to listen when they talk. Even we want other adults to actively listen to us whenever we speak with them without any distractions. In the same way, kids expect us to listen to them without distraction and reflect with them. If we miss it they feel super irritated. We parent usually forget to do active participation due to various distraction such as mobile usage and concentrating on some other household or office work. It is understandable to be distracted because as an adult, we need to look at other work as well. In that situation, please inform the child as it is a busy time and will come to them later by apologizing. Kids will understand most of the time.
Kids hate orders, and they get irritated very soon. They are little humans, and we are responsible for respecting them instead of providing orders to finish any work and being bossy all the time. It is always good to go with choices rather than being bossy with the kids. Let’s start to have a healthy relationship with kids and enjoy the parenting journey.
Telling constant "No."
Conveying “No” is one of the expected behavior of parents. Children happen to hear so many “No’ every day. And it is understandable to say “NO” to a few things. But instead of saying “No” directly, we can convey it positively. For example, if the child asks for chocolates and the parent doesn’t want to give it a direct “No,” it irritates the child. In this situation, we can acknowledge the child and convey as this is not the time for chocolates, and they will get it some other time.
Comparing them with others
One of the biggest enemies in parenting is comparison. It is very common to compare our kids with others in various situations. As every other child is unique, there is no need to compare our cutie pies with anyone else. So, please try to avoid comparison as much as you can because it irritates the child very much.
Shouting /screaming always
As a parent, we often get triggered by a child’s behavior. In frustration, we may shout or scream at the child. This little shouting irritates the child heavily, and they start to shout/scream back, which makes the situation even worse. Please try to work on your emotions to reduce the shouting or screaming toward the child.
Not showing up
The child is still growing mentally and physically; they easily get triggered or drained up due to various developments. During such situations, they look for their caregivers to support them. They expect an adult near them to provide a warm hug or to give them a shoulder to cry. If we don’t show up, they get irritated and give a way to increase the tantrums even worse.
Too many interrogations
As a parent, we will be curious to know what the child is doing when they are sincerely involved in some work. In curiosity, we may start to interrogate them by asking questions. But the child gets irritated when they hear so many questions from us. Just stay a step back and be mindful in questioning them. In the same way, we parents love to interrogate our children after coming back from school. But they hate to reply if we overdo the same. Please try to reduce it.
Making fun of them or their friends
This is one of the topmost reasons for any child to get irritated. They don’t like if someone makes fun of their dear ones, especially friends. Please never make fun of their friends, friends’ names, friends’ families, or anything related to their friends. They love their friends so much and hate to hear any fun of them.
As a parent/caregiver, more specifically being an adult, we want to protect our child most of the time. In the name of protection, we often give them more instructions and correct them while doing some work. But kids hate those over-protecting behavior from parents. We can’t leave the child as it is without protection, but please try to be mindful while doing it. Take a step back and observe them before jumping into the world of overprotection.
Enrolling in too many extra classes
We love to enroll the child in various classes to understand their interest, so based on their interest, we can encourage the child to shine in the same field. But if it goes overboard, the child starts to hate all the classes; this gives them irritation to attend any class. Please be mindful while enrolling.
Kids love to explore, and they tend to do it irrespective of any place. The restriction is much needed in parenting because kids are unaware of the consequences but avoid doing it all the time. Because with overloading restrictions, the child can’t learn anything; instead, they feel irritated and start to hate the stuff.
One of the common behaviors which create irritation in both parents and kids is cleaning up their place. It is a much-needed skill for any human, and all kids must learn it from childhood. But try to make it a fun and enjoyable activity instead of being hard or threatening (as I will throw away the toys if they don’t clean them up). Because threatening to clean up will irritate the child. The child may get scared for some time; later, it irritates them heavily, and they stop reacting completely.
Reminders are much needed in childhood as the brain is still in the developmental stage, but if we start to remind them each minute, it will irritate them. If the child has to do anything (Homework, taking a bath, brushing, etc.) , it is great to remind them about it once or twice and plan a time they are willing to do such work. For example, the child can come for homework after playing with friends at 6 pm. If they don’t come after 6 pm, we can remind the child but avoid reminding them about the homework throughout their play time. That kind of constant reminder irritates the child heavily
As a parent, we need to remove the thought of giving punishments to the child to discipline them or to get any work done. Any kind of unnecessary punishment irritates the child, and they start to unlove us without any doubt.
Avoiding their emotions
Kids need their parents/caregivers to satisfy, to take care of their emotional needs. If we avoid it or fail to do it, the child faces a failure inside them, which cause severe irritation in them. It is tough to support the child’s emotions 100% of the time, but it is always good to do most of the time.
Kids are little humans like us, and they get irritated like elders for various reasons. In the intention of raising a disciplined child, we parents tend to irritate the child unintentionally. We can correct and discipline the child within certain boundaries and make sure not to go overboard. It is always good to stay back and be mindful while doing anything for the child.